Twenty-Two Years Sober in Alcoholics Anonymous
A Septuagenarian AA Member Shares His Experience, Strength and Hope
Apr 4, 2009
For more than fifty years, he never dreamed he would follow his father into alcoholism. He had seen what the disease had done to his family and vowed to take a different path. But at the age of seventy-five, he now sees his entire life story as a chronicle of alcoholism - cunning, powerful and baffling.
Growing Up in an Alcoholic Home – Daddy Was a Preacher
To the casual observer, Jim’s home was perfect. He had two sisters and two brothers, a stay-at-home Mom and a religious-minded Dad. He lived in a manse, went to church camp every summer, and attended the best community functions in his small Texas town. He was a soft-spoken child who was adored by the ladies of the church.
Behind this happy façade, however, lurked frequent physical beatings, emotional neglect, raging brutality and many uprooted school years caused by Daddy’s inability to keep his position at any church. On Sundays, he listened to his Dad preach about a loving Father known as God, but the rest of the week he was terrorized by a violent and domineering Father known as Dad. He was eight when his Dad went overseas to serve as a Chaplain in World War II, leaving his boys bereft of any masculine influence and often in fear of abandonment.
Jim was accepted at one of the finest colleges in Texas, where he was introduced to alcohol when he sang in a local bar. He served as a Navy officer during the Korean War. A successful young man on the outside, he was deeply confused internally, unprepared for adulthood and still baffled by his father’s double life. Drinking seemed to soothe his troubled thinking and as a bonus, it brought him out of his shyness with girls. He married an attractive local girl, the daughter of the “town drunk”, and the stage was set for alcoholism.
Success, Wealth and Alcoholism – Hitting the Top and the Bottom
With a good education, honorable wartime service to his country, and a beautiful wife, he settled easily into his chosen profession and began to prosper. He seemed outwardly to be a “social drinker”, but few people knew the truth as his addiction escalated into full-blown alcoholism. By the time he became a millionaire, Jim was drinking around the clock. He bought a 48-foot yacht, expensive designer suits, and other luxuries. He traveled around the world, enjoying the good life and simultaneously sinking further into his addiction. He had unwittingly copied his father’s knack for living two lives. It was only after his marriage fell apart, he began to lose his fortune, his only child became estranged and he was middle-aged that he began to admit to himself that he might have a small problem.
Intervention, Treatment and The Twelve Steps – Recovery at Last
Shortly after his 54th birthday, Jim found himself in a business meeting gone wrong, - what he thought was a conference turned out to be an intervention. He was checked into a suburban rehabilitation facility where he stayed for nearly two months, releasing fifty years’ worth of old emotions and learning that through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous he could have a different understanding of God. He got an AA sponsor, began to work the Steps, and committed himself to physical, emotional and spiritual recovery.
It was simple. It was not easy. Sobriety became Jim’s first priority, and he began to work with other alcoholics, passing the message of AA to others. He was finally able to let go of his Dad-God and find a God of his own understanding. Even though there have been another divorce, continuing estrangement from his only child, financial bankruptcy and serious medical challenges, he has not taken another drink. Jim B. will be eternally grateful for recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous.
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